Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Unexpected Republic of Iran II: Want a Sex Change? It's On Us!

Bet you didn't see that one comin', eh?

Of course, the report is done by an Arab news station, as the Iranian government probably doesn't want to advertise this controversial fatwa of Khomeini's. But, as we all know, there are no "takesies-backsies" when it comes to fatwas, so they have to keep payin' for them. Just one concern, though (okay, well several, but i'll only mention one): judging from all the botched nose jobs I've seen on the streets of Tehran, what kind of...?

The Unexpected Republic of Iran I: Hypernova

Attention everyone! New theme of the week here!! Though I'm still a fan of criticising the Iranian government (and anyone who knows me knows how much I looooove criticising governments), I think it's time to show you another, unexpected side of our favourite Islamic Republic.

So what better way to express this to my audience than to highlight an Iranian hipster band who recently made the perilous journey from Tehran to New York to play a gig? Hypernova, with their greasy hair, ripped jeans and devil-may-care attitude belong right in our very own mile-end. Except these kids are cooler - you know why? Because they're actually using rock to fight the establishment, and not just pretending to like our home-spun variety. Since Ahmadinejad banned western music in 2005, as frontman Raam points out, "we're jeopardizing our lives every show we play" (which, granted, is mostly in basements and at teenage girls' birthday parties, but beggars can't be choosers, right?).

Check out their myspace page

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Bao Xishun finds love!

After placing a personal ad looking for a wife, the world's tallest man has finally found her! At 7'9", his wife-to-be is more than 2 feet shorter, at 5'6". Now, I don't mean to be indecent, but how do they...? And, I mean, is everything... proportional? This is a man who was asked to use his extra-long arms to extract plastic from a sick dolphin's stomach, after all...

Monday, March 26, 2007

Rape, murder... and other "erotic dreams"

The above photos come from a recent episode of America's Next Top Model, where they had the girls do a fashion shoot in various "I just got murdered" poses. I don't know if anyone saw this, but as I don't watch TV it just came to my attention now (the episode aired earlier this month)... does anyone else see anything wrong with this? Scantily clad women posing as though they had just suffered a violent death (look closely - one of the girls has actually 'had her organs removed')... to promote fashion? Especially when one considers the judges' praise:

Miss J: What's great about this is that you can also look beautiful in death.

Tyra: She's making those clothes look kind of fierce.

Nigel: It's a great shot. Death becomes you, young lady.

Miss J: These are broken-down dolls. These are busted up, broken-down dolls, marionettes.

Nigel: The look on your face is just extraordinary. Very beautiful and dead.

And the criticism:

Nigel: All the other girls managed to have some sort of spark even in this sort of morbid situation. I think I look at you in this picture, and you actually just look dead.

Nigel: I agree that this is a fashion shot, but you don't look dead to me. You look like you're dying.

The pics call to mind a certain now infamous ad created by our good friends Domenico and Stephano (the same guys who brought us children's clothing ads featuring 6-old-girls with their legs spread):

When asked about the intended message of this advertisement, Stephano Gabbana said in their defense that the ad was not meant to promote gang rape, but merely to recall an "erotic dream" (of gang rape, presumably)

So if these are the types of fantasies that we're trying to get men in 'civilized' countries to recall, then all of a sudden the lady detective's findings aren't so shocking after all...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Teddy? Is that you?

Oh, wait, I remember what happened to him.

Looks like there's no shortage of evangelical preachers to take Ted Haggard's place - apparently in response to an article in Radar magazine, evangelical leader Reverend Albert Mohler Jr. has managed to enrage just about everyone with his latest article Is Your Baby Gay? What If You Could Know? What If You Could Do Something About It? where he supports the idea that homosexuality may have biological origins (yaaay!) which could be detected in the womb and 'cured' with hormone therapy while the baby is still in utero (noooo!). But it gets even more complicated when you consider that this is they same guy who is squarely against any sort of intervention in the womb (meddling with God's will, if you will), such as genetic manipulation or abortion of a fetus that it is known will be born with a handicap. Ah but homosexuality isn't a handicap, you see, it. is. a. sin.

Now. I have just one more question. What to do with all those darn homo-sexuals who have already been born? Ahmadinejad says "hang 'em in a public square":

(This photo was taken July 2006 when two teenage boys were hung on chargest of homosexuality. Executing minors seems to be a favourite passtime or the regime, these days)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sol-eh noh mobarak (happy new year)

Ah, noh-rouz. Time to celebrate the new year, the spring solstice... in blackface?

Click here for a countdown.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Children are the future

These kids need to get themselves some proper role models - FAST. Every time I even try to summarise everything that is so, so very wrong about this video, I go through a series of emotions, from incredulity, to anger, to hopelessness. If we took a tiny fraction of what Western states spend collectively on the military and invested it in schools where children could learn something other than how to recite violent jihadist rhetoric (or to deny evolution, or to believe that palestinians are ethnically inferior to jews, or that it's ok to wear sandals outside last week when there was still snow on the ground) then we wouldn't have to spend so much on our military defence capabilities, because young dhoha and muhammad wouldn't be strapping bombs to their chests to join mama in paradise.

Also, this video serves as yet another reminder that the West needs to stop its embargo on the Palestinians. We simply must get some money to them so they can do something about that TV show's awful set.

Israel and the US milking the 9/11 cow

I'm sorry, but these Iranian TV cartoons never get old for me.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Singapore Airlines: the docile, Asian American Apparel?

Ok so there are no spread legs, tight-bummed (underage) girls in thongs, or suggestive captions (such as the most recent that I've seen on the bus: the word "tight" accompanying a picture of a topless young girl in nothing but pantyhose sticking her rear-end out suggestively at the camera, implying to the audience that the description doesn't just apply to her attire)...

But Singapore Airlines' advertisements, which appear in full-page format in magazines such as the Economist, appeal to another male fantasy. I'll let you guess which one:

I mean, they may as well promise brothels full of "comfort women" upon landing. Oh, wait, according to Shinzo Abe last week, those never existed. What's that, Shinzo? Time to apologize for the gang rape of hundreds of thousands of women?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Nuclear PO-WAH

Ah, the irony of using ten-year-old computer animation technology to show the people how technologically advanced they are. In reality, judging by the rest of the infrastructure in the country, those nuclear power plants are already probably leaky and nonfunctional, before they've finished being built.

P.S. Who is the giant peanut? Russia? I don't recognize the flag.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Happy women's day!

Did women once rule the world? Many pre-historic archaeologists say yes. This was a time before weapons were perfected. In a time when weapons are capable of the greatest damage man (yes, man) has ever known, it's about time we take over again and fix this mess. Check out the UN's women watch site to see how we're doing.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Like a virgin

A message to all those (Muslim) married ladies out there: afraid your husband may be losing sexual interest? Don't want him to take on a second, younger, virgin wife? Fear no more - there's a product on the market out there just for you! "Virginity Soap" promises to "constrict and tighten, creating that coveted look and feel of virginity" (according to blogger Sand gets in my eyes). Available at a 5-Riyal store near you:

While Muslim men's penchant for virgins isn't showing signs of letting up just yet, Sheikh Ali Gomaa, the Grand Mufti of Egypt, has issued a fatwa declaring that men do not have the right to demand proof of their wife's virginity. To quote: "Any man who is concerned about his prospective wife’s hymen should first provide a proof that he himself is virgin."

Baby steps...

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Move over, Baudelaire

On a lighter note, I'd like to thank L for bringing the above photograph to my attention. Dandyism takes on a decidedly Indian twist in the look of our friend Sir Raghubir Singh.

"The wealthy man, who, blasé though he may be, has no occupation in life but to chase along the highway of happiness, the man nurtured in luxury, and habituated from early youth to being obeyed by others, the man, finally, who has no profession other than elegance, is bound at all times to have a facial expression of a very special kind."